Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Ew, Gag, Ew!

I think this might be one of the most nauseating posts...

Hey how's it going? A girl and I that met on here are looking for someone adventurous, open minded and sexual to join us...if you are fun and
always wanted to explore more than usual, we want to know more. We are very picky so hope you feel special :)

Special? I should feel special that two randoms who met on a dating website want me to be their joiner? All this time I thought flowers sent to your workplace made you feel special.

And SPECIAL treat... the picture is of him and his sister

Poets are Plentiful on POF

I was beginning to panic a little. No creepers in over a week?! Since I was only able to find bad luck in my region* I thought it might be time to move my  profile to a new location.  Within a day I was messaged this:

I wish POF would let me put the word beautiful in bold! Because your looks are unrivaled! Definitely not a hand to fold! Pocket Pair! You have a pretty smile and stare! With a body that has sex appeal regardless of what you decide to wear! So attractive its rare! Not that I compare! But wherever you are! I would like to be there :)


The name! The Poem! Oh creepers, thanks for returning laughter to my life! 

* Tried one date. Future entry to follow soon! 

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Mr. Roboto

Be Jealous... You wanted to be wooed by a machine too

Good day,
Happy new year. I would like you to read my profile and see whether we meet
each others requirements. Please do reply irrespective of whether your answer is yes or
no. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

P.S. He's not a doctor. Or a nurse. Or even a CNA... He works in a factory. From all I can gather, this is not a Halloween Costume either.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

What a charmer

The following has messaged me 3 times... I decided not to answer because I just wasn't interested. My silence must have spurred desperation. I received this message today:

i know you are older but i am serious and a good guy if you just please try first before you judge

The way to a woman's heart is telling her how she's older?! Wow, where are guys learning the rules about girls??? 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I'm doubting his lasting power

I was getting a little worried. It'd been almost 2 days without a creepy message. I was getting the "How you doings", and normal letters, but nothing that was entertaining. We all need to thank the soldier boy now.

soooooo....im thinking, me, you and about 45 minutes of wild sweaty pornstar sex.....sound good?...lol

lol... I love how you can add these three letters to any asinine thing and excuse the real intent of your message. And I really think that 45 minutes is some unrealistic projection... 

Monday, January 16, 2012

A view of my profile

I've had a couple requests that I put my own profile up. Ask and you shall recieve!

AboutNon-Smoker with Average body typeCityGaylord Michigan
Details29 year old Woman, 5' 3" (160 cm), CatholicEthnicityCaucasian Capricorn with Brown hair
I am Seeking aManForDating
Needs TestNot CompletedChemistryNot Completed
Do you drink?SociallyDo you want children?Yes
Marital StatusSingleDo you do drugs?No
PetsNo PetsEye ColorGreen
ProfessionNon-profit directorDo you have children?No
EducationMasters degreeDo you have a car?Yes

I'll be completely honest, I don't have a ton of faith in these sites, but with the urging of one of my friends who had good luck, I'll try it.

I am a pretty busy person. I work a couple jobs and don't have a ton of free time, but it would be nice to bring a date to gatherings with my friends instead of being the single one. I currently work in the non-profit field while I hunt down a teaching job. There is a pretty big chance I'll be moving at the end of August if I can't find anything in this area.
When I do have free time, I like to just hang out with friends, go running, shopping, etc. I love plays and musicals and traveling.

I'm not really sure what I want in a relationship right now, and I think going into a site like this with the mentality of accomplishing a long term thing is silly. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not going to force it.

I think a few who have read this blog might have thought I was advertising to receive the crazy responses, but I promise, I wasn't! 
P.S. I won't post my picture on here. If the blog gains popularity (my pipe dream is it being picked up and made into the ultimate rom com movie haha) I do not want potential people messaging me fake responses to be on the blog. I want these to be authentic letters. But I do promise, I am a normal looking gal :)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

He knows what he wants... so deal

On POF, there is an option of going through pictures/profiles and saying if you want to meet a person or not... No messages, just a yes or no. This is a profile from one of thew people who want to meet me... Hard to believe he's single!
 About Me
Are you still waiting for it? You should probably stop, because it isn't happening.
 I don't smoke/drink/do drugs. I have no children. I am a nerd. I work 50+ hours a week. 
I have a car and my own place. I have 14 brothers and sisters; 11 of them are 
special needs / adopted.
 I'm not looking for a slut and/or one night stand. I'm not one of "those" guys. 
Message me if you feel like it.

Let's throw a little more in here ... My job is my life right now. I absolutely love it, 
so I'm not moving. 
My current project is to get a Citrix XenDesktop server running. Google it if you care.
 After that will hopefully be a VoIP solution.I prefer documentaries over most TV shows. 
The Universe (favourite), Planet Earth, Nat Geo,
 Known Universe and anything I can find that's entertaining on the History, Science or 
Discovery channels. It takes a lot to hold my interest.

First Date:
My choice.

High School Poetry gone wrong

This cross between a song from Pocahontas and Louis Armstrong is pretty inspiring. 

As I look outside I see the breeze. Caress the leaves from the trees. Carry them all around. Gently laid upon the ground I see the birds so high above. Their song sing like the wind. Laid upon their soft sweet wings. As they start their graceful gentle descent. Delivering a message that heaven sent. One thing I know and will hold so dear. When I see them fly I will feel you near.

I just don't think this will work. He see's birds and thinks of me. I see birds and think they're going to poop on me. 

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Birthday wish that won't come true

How not to get a reply:

tomorrows my bday u should jump out of my cake for me lol

At least his spelling of tomorrow is correct!

Love is everywhere!

Why do I get the feeling you won't find this guy at your local Macy's?


Hope you are doing wonderful !! I think it would be very special to meet someone in the grocery store, and, fall in love !! Or, at the mall while shoping....
I question how two people are to fall in live ?? But, I do know that if it is meant to be...it will be !! Alot of faith, and, trust..everything is going as planned !!
Perhaps we could chat sometime ??

Take good care !!

A couple, what?!

This almost made me spit out my coffee... 

Wondered if you would ever want to talk a fun and genuine couple that is looking for that goto friend to share nice parts of their life with. If you were just curious to hear us out we hope you might see that there would be something really positive to be able to enjoy most things in life you enjoy with someone you were comfortable with in a very new and different way. Just so you know the photo here is just there for our privacy, but if we found someone serious just to see and get to know us we would be happy to share photos to let them know we are very real and pretty much a nice clean cut couple with so much to offer. Hope to hear back but would understand if you may just have no interest to see. 

Swingers? Mormans? I guess I'll never know. Yikes! 

Adventures on Plenty of Fish

I'm 29, and the only single person I know*.  At this rate if I don't take control of my life, I am in a very real danger of dying alone amongst a menagerie of unicorn figurines, eating lean cuisines with my 15 cats, while wearing a "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy" sweatshirt. As appealing as this might sound, it's not actually part of my bucket list.

Internet dating is getting a better rep now. It is almost becoming a legit type of thing. However, there are oodles of freaks out there. I know, I'm messaged by them. I joined Plentyoffish.com about a month ago. And while there are decent people out there, the freaks make my laugh. Welcome to an examination, and actual messages and descriptions of those who have messaged me. Enjoy!

*My absolutely beautiful 25 year old single friend who is single by choice, certainly can't count.